Quote: Is there any way you can find time to actually physically get away...soon? Like to a meditation retreat or even to a hotel where you can have quiet time/meditation for yourself for a day or two? For you own mental/emotional health, please take this into consideration. ... Take a well-deserved Time Out!
Kaly, I am actually going to a 3 day 'thing' next weekend. It's sort of a retreat for men to reconnect with the warrior that is inside of us all. It's kind of different, and was reccommended by an acquaintance who went to it and said 'It changed my life'. Its here at the Mankind Project New Warrior Training Adventure.
One of the things they say you get out of this is a better sense of self and purpose. Both of which I need. They even say in testimonials that relationships have changed after this experience. I look at it this way: I'm lost and need to be found. So far I have accelerated my recovery from depression and alcohol in just 3 months.
I told W all that I knew, and that a lot of it is secretive. She was impressed that I was going to a retreat at all, and the secretive and intense emotions they claim will come out is a show of vulnerability she has never seen me do. So she's actually pretty excited.
I decided last week that it's now OK for me to let go of being there for the kids, and the Wife since she is now able to do that again. So, I am doing things for ME and my growth and recovery. This seems like it will be an experience and if it can help me to remove more of my 'needyness' and strengthen my detachment then I'm all for it.
But, I also have a lot of work that must be dones this week befre I go and the only way I'll get it done is to drop all communications with W to the bare minimum.
I realize that in all these exchanges THAT I AM GIVING her energy / power by being positive, supportive. Because I am usually tired or exhausted after these 'sessions'. THe positive, flirty interchanges are desinged by her to pull from me. Especially when I withdraw from her for a couple days. It needs to be done. She needs a 'feeling' she gets from me and Counselor says take it away from her. It's like an addiction.
