frank, I just finished catching up with your sitch. Looks like you had a rough time, but have come up better off. I too realized the whole *need* dynamic that my W has. Once I realized what was going on I could only have pity for her, that she needs me. I think she has realized that she could lose some of the security I provide; with respect to health insurance should I remarry. This has her very scared, but sh acts calm. I agree with you whole-heartedly about the WASs needing. Once we realize that we no longer need, or even want, our WASs, then we are home free as far as detaching. Until they no longer need us they will stay in lala land. They need us but dont want us and this makes them angry. What has to happen is that they stop needing and start to want us again, without needing. Like your exGF Pamela. In their current state they are unattractive to us. It is when we want each other again, if that ever happens, that we will get back together. I have been contemplating this aspect of Rs for the past two weeks and find it ironic you see the same. Then you know what they... great minds think alike .