Well, Grasshopper, that was totally profound. It described the paradox of our situation to a "T". I agree that when you love unconditionally, you love unconditionally and that it doesn't just go away. This unconditional love has nothing to do with need, the ego, co-dependency...it is what is left over when these things burn away. It is painful when unrequited. But it remains for those of use who have chosen the path of love in our lives. We struggle in the meantime NOT to let our needs put us in the path of getting hurt again, and the old angers about A, OW/OM, percieved grievances from the past, etc flair up, scare us and demand our attention until we put them back in their place...by letting go.
Frank, it doesn't matter a damn what I think of you! (I have a great respect and admiration for your capacity to love and grow, FYI!)...so it wasn't me thinking 'look how uncaring he is when talking about his wife'. Not in the least. What I was thinking was that your anger and hurt were going to both suffocate you and threaten to distort your feelings about your marriage and your wife and how things 'went down' in the breakdown stages of the marriage. That is all. Whenever I feel like 're-writing' the history of my marriage - inaccurately ascribing fault to either myself or to my H - I find the picture gets distorted and I no longer can see where my path torwards health and life lies. I may have been way off base thinking that was going on with you - you could have just been venting for heaven's sake and if we can't do that here, where CAN we do it?!
I hope your C session goes well and you find a healthy balance within yourself of loving, going on with your life, and hoping for a re-connection with your W, if open to you. I'll be thinking of this C session today, sending up some prayers to the Universe on your behalf. Love, Kaly
