Quote: Ok, to play devil's advocate, that list also describes pretty well the way a person will act when they're "in love" with someone. In the early days we all do some of those things when that other person can do no wrong, things they are into, all of a sudden we are into, etc. I admit the sensing vulnerable women part sets them aside, but if my W read that list she would probably list many of those things a POSITIVE attributes of her OM...go figure!
GH
Sure, I agree with you it does seem like 'in love' - at first. But that's what the author of the book is trying to point out - look for the warning signs of manipulation after a week of 'in love' has become 'relationship building'. In any relationship you should be asking questions about the person, their life, habits, hobbies. These are warning signs to look for.
This statement: pushes you to quickly disclose a lot about yourself to him Has a corollary that may not be obvious but was in the list: creates a sense of fun and mystique to draw you in
Which, said another way is: Gives little detail about themself or their real life.
This seems to describe OM in my case. He 'knows' W from a previous life, remember? She asks him questions about his life and he doesn't give meaningful answers. And, he appears to have been living off his girlfriend for 3 years till she kicked him out and he is now (at 39) living with Mommy.
One other thing of interest in my case anyway re: chameleons. This guy was a drywall installler for years before he met his last GF around 2003. She is a trained massage therapist. Ok. Since meeting her / living with her HE is now a massage therapist. They went to Hawaii to 'work on the relationship' as part of the retreat to learn this 'Lomi' technique. W IS a dedicated pratitioner already and now he is amazingly, dedicated to this even though he probably is barely a massage therapist with any real experience. And, most opinions are GF paid for the trip ($2,000 each).
Chameleon?
I know W questioned his sincerity in early January. But he sucked her back in.
