Quote: I think you know how I feel about your situtasion. But maybe there is a point. Your not like me.
Actually Marty you and I are a lot more alike than you think. I don't know what kind of businesses you have been in, perhaps you could enlighten us, but I have always been in technology. And both you and I are geared up to do one thing VERY well: We Solve Hard Problems. They may be financial, or technological or whatever but that's what we do.
Then we create an environment, a company, where smart people can find their full potential and we all make more money as a team. And that's how we make the big bucks.
Am I right so far? Close? I think so.
And if we have any kind of soul we know in our hearts that there are a number of famlies who depend on paychecks that come from us. Letting them go is very hard if you have a conscience. I had to let over 200 people go from a company that failed to evolve competitvely, had $12 million in the bank and couldn't make their business work any more. It was a hard thing to do. I didn't keep a lot of 'friends' after that but it had to be done or EVERYBODY would lose their jobs.
I bet some of these descriptions might be similar to your life.
We both have been wronged in our youth. By people we trusted. Trust is hard to find in this world, there are so many people who want to control or hurt others. This hurt and betrayal followed us into our adult lives and businesses. We live our lives as if we are still that young person who is being betrayed and act accordingly.
It follows us into our relationships, into the bedroom. We rarely, if ever, feel that deep love that comes from feeling every fiber of our being feel like it has been filled with love and we sleep for once in our ilfe with true contentment. The rest of the time we 'get off' and sleep.
Which do you feel? I USED TO feel the first, deeper one. Then I left the world and only felt the 'get off and go to sleep' feeling.
The difference between you and I is that I have gotten past the wrongs and betrayals of my childhood and learned that the world, and the people in it are not simple. And, our society has created people like you, and me, and your wife and AmyC and all the others we know. Each has their strengths and their weaknesses. But all are fellow humans. And what I have learned about fellow humans is how to forgive.
Quote: If you left and met a great girl and your wife kept on with OM and a year went by you might go back. i dont know but I think so. Thats your choice and for you it could be great. But look at all the great things you would have enjoyed for that year. And maybe at that you could see more clear as well as your wife. I think in situations like yours a given amount of time and then you move forward and let what will be will be handle the rest.
Fair enough. I don't know if I would go back to my wife if I met this new woman you describe. If she was so great then I would be happy. I think that W would be likely to come back to me because she would see a happy person who is desirable.
Quote: But its that hope and all that stuff I TRULY believe kills the human spirit and crushes the heart.
When it does that, then it's because it's an OBSESSION or a FEAR, not a 'hope'.
Quote: once the mind moves on th eheart can follow. I hope you see my point. I think I have said this before.
Of course. the mind and the heart are tied together.
Quote: So its not a joke. There arte not second chances like that. It ends and that ends for life. Now we will have a great freindship for the kids and be good parents. But us ever sharing a bed or anything else for that matter. done
Ok, no second chances. Then your wife should be filing quickly and getting this over. Because you said there are no second chances. And since that is TRUE then she should NOT give YOU any second chances. Just file and get it over with.
So, why are you here. Just wait for her to file and then you will be 'done'. You should be able to buy someone new real quick. Someone superficial. Someone who doesn't know you, your likes , your dislikes, all the things you learn abot someone after you spend years together.
You can break another one in. Won't take long. Kids will be FINE.
Why are you here Marty? When you answer that question AFTER thinking about it and looking inside then maybe our advice will mean something. Until then, it seems like you're trying to think of reasons to go. So go already!
