Quote: You missed the point of my post entirely. I wasn't seeking advice on my own sitch.
No, I know you weren't seekng advice. I was projecting MY sitch onto YOUR sitch trying to project the similarities, differences and as Shark says 'how a guy feels' in this sitch.
Quote: I merely wanted you to consider that your wife might still "come around"? It might not be as long as 2 years from now either. You have a lot going for you that I did not and still do not. But I came around and so can your wife.
I know what you meant. She might come around. She is not you though. As I recall, you didn't leave because of being in a hurt state with your husband not being emotionaly there for you. She says she 'deserves to be happy'. Obviously 'happy' doesn't include ME. I represent 'unhappy' and all that goes with it. OM is part of 'happy' for her. LIke Shark, I find it incredibly hard to forgive for OM. I know I drove her to it. I can accept that. But I also changed and fixed myself under great duress. If she loves me she should be wanting to make that work. She doesn't.
But she does want to flirt with me sometimes. And then still push me away. Boredom perhaps? Habit? I have no clue. But I have to live. I won't be able to care for myself and my kids if I stay attached to her.
I have to take care of myself, because that's all I have left. Just like in most of my life, The only person I can depend on now, is myself.
That's the way it has always been. That's the way it will always be.
But, as she says: 'You did this before and when we got back together it went back to the way it was'. I notice that every time she says that she cries. That's the only time she ever cries when we talk about this stuff now. Any speculation as to why that is? Just old hurt?
And, during our more 'heated' discussions she will say "I still LOVE you, I don't know how NOT to love you" What does that mean to a woman?
Quote: I just wanted to see if I might be able to give you a little bit of hope today as you have NEVER once told me to give up.
And YOU shouldn't. You have a lot of posibilities as I said before.
Maybe after I am totally detached and I don't care any more she may also be 'done' with OM and take a good look at me again. Right now just the random thoughts of OM and her and what she said to me about it all sent a discouraging message. I GET it. She doesn't WANT me.
I'm still struggling with the thought of whether or not I should stay in the same house after she hooks up with OM for another 'spiritual experience'. Or if I should stay even now and feel the hurt of seeing her evry day.
I don't like to get hurt. If she was just someone I knew and not my kids mother, and she treated me hurtfully I would just stop talking to her. DB'ing says stay and suffer. Which is the right thing to do?
