The real issue for me is that right now ... I need to heal.
Quote: I pulled myself out of my personal hell by myself, stopped drinking on my own, Stayed the solid one for the kids to lean on while she was off in a cloud, Kept even HER emotionally stable during OM ups and downs over xmas, kept the Kids grounded and happy and all this during a 'separation' and affair and a divorce hanging over me. All in the past 90 days
This is too much for one person to absorb for a long time. I need to give myself credit for getting this far. Most people would take 90 days JUST to get through depression and drinking isues alone. I was tasked with much more than that and survived so far.
I need to put all my DB'ing on HOLD, and take care of me. I need to be healed before I continue. This journey for me hasn't just been DB'ing, it started with restarting my life first, and getting back to a 'normal' level of living, before I have the power to DB properly. I'm running a marathon on two broken legs, and it hurts.
I've been DB'ing with no heart. No core energy to do it with. I'm still getting over the depression. So most of what everyone has seen is me doing the best I can to keep it 'up and positive'. My heart is broken and I need to heal it before I can do anything more with this mess.
So, I need to Withdraw to finish healing. Emotional Detachment. I know what it means but not exactly how to do it. As I see it, you are 'above it all' and not connected to the actions of someone else.
Physical Detachment: don't be around and available. It's a little bit harder but it can be done. Withdraw!
Ultimately the goal is to be interesting, intelligent and funny. I'm all three.
Counselor said that if I really withdraw from W, she would take it as an insult, but a neccesary one. As they learn that intimacy is schedled
A better idea was: give it six month to see if there is anything to it.
Shark, your ideas are pretty good too. I'll need to reread them to respond.
