This might not be the right thing to say but hey I say a lot of things. But here it goes. For me Frank the OM is the last straw. I just dont see how all these people deal with this. BUT..
You have done so much and seem to really have such a good handle on certain aspects of life and relationships. So I guess my point is, stay for a given amount of time and then WALK. There are too many fish in the sea. I have a lot of respect for a number of people on this board but there comes a time when you have to say enough is enough. Kids, money, family and future does not matter.
I WOULD at this time let the anger drive your life and use it to take care of yourself and your kids. Your wife needs to be dropped off and let go. I DO NOT at this time believe that DB'ing is the way to go. If there was not OM I would say take the pain (as I do and others) and stick it out until the answer comes. I want you or I dont.
Only you can know how much time, but I DO believe you owe it to yourself and your children to give the time. 6 months or 9 months or a year. And FLOAT all the way to the D day. You owe it to your wife, children and vows to give her/it that time, but after that you are done. Once you GIVE UP and set that time frame and FLOAT till that day I know you will be OK. Your a better man than I Frank, I have said it before. My wife gives me one indication she is dating, seeing or even interested at THIS time in our lives, its over. So please try to understand where I come from. I DO NOT SHARE! Otheriwse they would have put that somewhere in the vows.
I spoke financially a few posts ago and you said you know what is going on in the real world. Then make the plans 60 days before D day to:
sell your house let your wife go save your finances save your equity rent an apartment take care of yourself and your kids AND START HEALING!
I get too many mixed signals to be so direct in my life so I try to just deal with the pain and take it day by day as many of you know. I cannot imagine what you go through on a daily basis.
But doesn't there come a time when you realize that the pain in your back is not a muscle but a knife? Alien or not, if given the chance (sorry to those who dont like this statement) a person will walk all over those that let them.
What do you think would happpen if I served my wife with papers and I was doing it because I had enough. NOT becasue I wanted a reaction and I stuck to it. I would find out REALLY quick waht was on her mind. You need to do the same but dont throw a grenade. Give the time and then mean it! But stop with all the other stuff. I see that as one negative of DB'ing. It allows the other person to walk all over you. At least that is how I see it in your case.
what do you think? This whole thing sucks, it really does as I sit here in a one bedroom apartment alone! It really does!! My family is 30 seconds away. People are just really Fu*ked up these days. What happen to till death do us part, for better or for worse?
Read between the lines for feelings in the writings
