I really feel for you and your sitch. What you are experiencing is really hard to deal with, but there is hope. I guess I'm a prime example really. I mean, if you would have known me then, it really was pathetic. You figure, it nearly cost me my family, it cost me my job and a lot of respect. Strangely, at the time, all I knew is that this woman completed me! Now I look back at it and say, ewww!
The thing is, none of us can compete with their fantasy world. We are part of a reality that they are trying to escape....but at some point, they must face that reality...there is no other way around it. And the point is, at some time, there comes the realization that the grass is not any greener....the person they so fell in "love" with turns out to be an ordinary person.
You're absolutely correct about it being analogous to a crack addiction, because it is. I kinda feel bad saying this but tonight when she called on her way to work, she actually said, "I know it doesn't mean much, but I am sorry." Mr. Sensitivity that I am, I said, "Don't say it because you know it will happen again." Was it the wrong thing to say, yeah, probably. I didn't say it mean, I just stated it matter of factly. But the addiction is there, she knows its wrong, but yet can't keep away. Maybe they should have re-habs for WAS?
I wish I only knew what emotional void he is filling for her. I mean, I obviously wasn't the greatest H in the world, in fact I was pretty bad at validating her feelings for the most part. So maybe that's the void...I don't know.
Yes, I have recognized that DBing is essential for the LBS as well as being the best shot you have to save your M. My problem, as succintly stated by GH, is that I follow the principles until she does something wrong then its game on!
Until next Kaly, take care. I'll be checking in with everyone later tonight.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
