No, no you didn't go beyond the scope of my question. I was just wondering if you could recall being in W's (current) shoes when you had your A and remembered if it was hard to let go of OW or not - if so, maybe because you felt so good in OW's presence and it gave you reassurance about yourself you had (temporarily) lost with W? I thought remembering that might make it easier for you to see why she's hanging on to her addiction.
My H is having a EA with his OW. Started out as PA, but he cut it off. She still writes him love letters, he sees her everyday at work when he's in town and God knows how often he calls her...from home and when on the road. It's more than obvious he is getting some kind of payback (esteem, power/control as he is her mentor at work, assurances by OW he makes her happy and she 'loves' him). He in NO WAY views this as wrong. No convincing him. But we all know that an EA is STILL an affair. I think it was Dr. Phil (yah, I know, I know....love him/hate him!) who said if you can't say it or do it in front of your wife, it's cheating. Anyway, I have a feeling that lashing out in anger - even though you are in the right - is going to get you no where fast, PArob. What are our other options in these situations? How do you go dark when you live together (I have this issue, too, until we separate in March). What does DB-ing system say to do at this point? Anyone out there have any ideas for us??!!
