You're more than welcome to pick my brain now and again, I'm hopeful that my story will at least encourage others to recognize that all is not lost in an M once the WAS starts an A. I am pretty beat up about the whole incident and to this day can't imagine why I had to do what I did. I feel especially guilty now because I have to wonder if that thing didn't lead to me current sitch. Oh well c'est la vie they say....
In any event, I applaud your efforts. These things are so emotionally draining. Interestingly, you talk about your bouts with depression and equate his MLC with that. I guess when you look at it that way, they are both very similar. Early in my M, my W experienced similar things as well. She suffered an extreme case of post partum after our first daughter was born which nearly tore us apart at that time. Although it would be easy for me to look back at it and blame her for that incident, I still don't. Her and I were both under extreme stress at the time...I would elaborate, but I don't have the time this morning. There was a second episode about five years later when we moved from our hometown to our current residence, about three hours away. She was pregenant with our third child and decided once she got here that she didn't want to be away from home. She moved back home for about six or seven months. I was crushed then, but looking back I understand why it happened. It was her first significant time away from home and she was terrified.
I would love to blame those things for my transgression, but in reality, I can't, because things were actually pretty good following those incidents. I attribute those to growing pains in our relationship.
The current sitch that I am in has me more terrified than anything. If you read my story, you know that about four months ago, my W expressed feelings for OM. October, November and December, I was incosolable for the most part. Begged, pleaded, cried, everything. Early this month, I confronted her and OM together. The next day, I found this site, immediately switched tactics. She took the weekend and just got away. Found a hotel somewhere, holed up and gave serious thought to the sitch. When she came home, she wrote me the most beautiful letter saying that she was so very sorry, she was misguided, that me and the girls are her life and without those she would have no life. I saw a bit of change in how she was acting towards me and life in general. To say the least, I was skeptical, but overjoyed. She felt really good about us, etc. The next week or so was fine, after a particularly hard weekend, she wrote me another note, saying much of the same things. That was two weekends ago.
There is a point here, and it is this. Now I'm not saying that this thing is over, in fact I know it isn't. She still talks to him during the day when I'm not here, and she sees him at work at night. But, considering where we were about three months ago, this is an improvement. Dont' give up hope Kaly, eventually he will come around and figure out that true love is not puppy love.
Take care of yourself, and please feel free to pick my brain anytime you like
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
