Hold on Rob. You are where I was the other night. What do you really know? She ate a cheeseburger a couple times? She may or may not have bought a necklace for herself? Man, if it were me, I would feel like doing just what you are suggesting, but is that going to help or hurt your situation? Sure, you may feel better for a few minutes but in the long run I think you would not, especially if there are reasonable excuses for all of this. I am just making sure you are not going to react to your emotions like I did. Again, the fact is that in DBing, the OM or A is not the issue, it is YOU and how you do for yourself. In terms of your W, it is about her seeing changes in you that make you more attractive than the OM. That is not the goal necessarily but it is the way they do come back to us for the most part. If you do this thing, you show her you are still the insecure, paranoid, snooping, and untrusting. She may be showing you that she is untrustworthy among other things, but she has been that for a long time. What has changed? Well, she is home with you. She is paying lip service to working on the R, and she likes what she was seeing in you. Those are positive. The rest is status quo for her. YOU cannot remain status quo. You have to keep on the path to self happiness. You have to detach. Basically, you need to do what you KNOW to do. DO NOT REACT to these things you are "finding". I would suggest not cleaning the house since you seem to "find" these things whenever you do (lol). Rob, please stay strong. Do not give in. Please, do not give in. If you must, pay attention to the signs, but it would be better if you did not because it hinders your own growth. Do not react on them.
