YES. Thank you! I am in a much better place just by virtue of having the support of the others here today. I have regained balance and found my center again. I still see myself in a good position at the moment and I DO NOT want to go back to the way things were several months ago. I need to stay the course here because I do see some progress. I want her to say, do and act certain ways only if SHE wants to, I don't want her to say ILY's, give hugs etc., just because she may see that I am disappointed. Sadly, I see this happening occassionally...well, more than that. A lot of times in the morning I get down because, well I haven't detached and I will reflect her mood. 99% of the time this results in a follow-up call by her while I am on my way to work, asking me if I'm okay. Obviously, I made her feel guilty or otherwise for her to want to make that call. That's not the feelings I want for her to have, because its a far cry from validating. She must be free to have and express her feelings, whether glad, sad, mad or happy without intervention or passive/aggressive tendencies on my part.
Again, I stress to myself that I am a lot better than what I was just a month ago (new years holiday was just horrible), but I still have such a long way to go....for myself. I know in my heart, deep down she loves me very much and values what we have, that is a positive!
Thanks again to GH, NYS and WTSI from preventing myself leading myself astray!
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
