Ok, my turn now Rob. You helped me a LOT yesterday and I need to help you now. You HAVE to stop asking her for validation of your fears. She knows you're afraid of the unknown. Basically, she's "not thinking about it"...what's that supposed to mean?
It means either she's not thinking about it, or doesn't want to talk about it with you right now. Remember, detachment is not reacting to her "stuff". I would throw her not being proactive about this issue as "stuff". Just focus on you, what YOU KNOW, not what you think you know. Remember me last night. NOT GOOD. Like Tim has said to me many times, look to my sitch and DON'T do that.
I know it is the only way, but sometimes lack of patience gets in teh way....
Yes, indeed it does. I have the same problem, coupled with an overactive mind and a short fuse when it comes to reacting to something I THINK is going on. Live your life. Love your wife. Count the blessed days she's with you and you get to demonstrate your love in ways you never knew how to before. Remember what my W said to me "You are STILL doing it!" I thought I was changing, but really I was just trying to do whatever I thought I needed to do to get her attention and then I just went back to my old ways. DO NOT DO THIS. You are at a really crucial point. You are where Tim was months ago and screwed up by pushing and pressuring, and worst of all, taking his W being back for granted and as a license to be the "old Tim". You are NOT the old Rob, so don't act like him. Kick his a$$ out of your mind and be the guy who knows all this great stuff about detaching, expressing love in their language, communication, living life for yourself, and most of all, not forming expectations about how your W should be acting/speaking. You can't KNOW what she's thinking right now so until the lines of communication are fully open, stop trying to figure it out. You'll do great today!
