Moving on II

[kaydeekay]

Update:

H moved back home this past Saturday (3/4). Prior to him moving back in I asked him if this is really what he wanted to do. He told me that he was going to work on this marriage 100% and that he wanted to be with me. He said that he would never, never, ever leave the home again. H also told me that his parents (divorced and remarried others) have told him that this was a big mistake. I asked H if this meant that they no longer liked me. H said no, that's not the reason. They feel that we have tried this numerous times and it would always fail. H said "They don't know what all has happened between us. Only I know what has happened." I also asked him about OW and he told me that I had nothing to worry about like I had to in the past..."I'm through with that b!tch. That was the worst mistake I've ever made in my life." Then I asked him about this OW that he had been hanging out with as friends. H told me that there was not a relationship between the two, even though she wanted more. "There is nothing to worry about. There was nothing going on like it was with OW."

When I kicked H out on February 5th I had thrown all of his clothes in the garage on the floor (they previously had been in our hall closet). When he came back Saturday he said he would like to move them back into our bedroom closet, so I made him some room. Originally he had asked me if I would help him and I had agreed to, however, he moved all of his clothes into the closet while I sat on the bed and watched him. H had already made plans to go out with his friends that night and I didn't mind. H had called me early in his evening out and said "I do love you." My sister was visiting me while I was talking with him and I could only reply "I do too." I could hear the disappointment in his voice when he said "you do?" I don't know if I was too emabarrased to say it in front of my sister (who doesn't know that he has moved back) or the fact that I'm really not ready to utter those words so soon. Maybe him moving back in is too soon.

I have worked really hard over a year to get my marriage back on track and now that it may seem to, I don't know if my heart is in it to see it through. I don't know if it's because I've gotten burned so many times by H in the past OR have I moved on emotionally? I just don't feel that My H is back home and I'm so happy that he wants to work on our marriage attitude.

Like I've said some months ago, I have changed but he hasn't. H still does the same things that annoyed me in the past. It seems that he still wants others interested in what he wants to do and doesn't give a sh!t as to what others want to do. Sometimes I wonder if we are the type of couple who can't live with each other, can't live without each other.