Please women, and maybe guys, don't kill me for this but I think it needs to be said. Men want sex. Men want sex from multiple people sometimes. If a man can get sex from a woman, he usually will if it won't screw up his life too much, and even if it will most of the time. Woman seem to be a bit different and there are deeper feelings associated with the sex. There is no universal of course but when I read your thread and a few others where the WAH still ML with their W, the first thing that jumps into my mind is "well, duh." Sorry if that's blunt. I know a couple times in my life I have GF that left me, or we broke up, and even though I had NO interest in getting back with them, I still slept with them one or two more times.
I cannot account for your H's initiating kissed and such. That seems to point to a mixed message because I think kissing and non-sexual intimacy is a crap-shoot in terms of what it means to each spouse.
So what I mean is that it is very possible for a man, maybe even your H, to ML/have sex and not feel it leads anywhere. You know that, but I thought it may be helpful to hear from a man who actually places a great deal of importance on the intimacy of ML yet still managed to have some meaningless sex with people who used to matter to me...
