Hey SS-
Thanks for your reply. My H has been saying for months that he couldn't afford to be living in our home, especially after our taxes went up so much in the fall. I guess i have to try not to associate D with selling the house. You could be right...maybe he didn't feel ready to make a decision about us yet, but wanted to take advantage of the spring market.

My H and I have been separated for 15 months. In NJ, you have to be separated (living apart and no sex - oops) for 18 months in order to file for a "no-fault" D. Meaning there would be no reason listed for the D. Otherwise, he could have filed at any time, and listed a cause (i.e. mental cruelty, abandonment, infidelity, etc.). I was thinking that he was waiting until May (that would be 18 months). I mean, we waited this long, whats another 3 months. Should i suggest that? That if he feels very strongly about D, that he wait until May? Or just not mention it?

The hard thing is how he can call me up on Sunday night, starting off the conversation with "hi lovie" and then tell me he misses me and is so lonely. Does this make any sense? And a few days later, we are planning on selling the house. Should i place any weight on that phone call at all? I mean, should i even think about it? Thats what is so confusing. And he admits that we have an amazing connection in so many areas, and that we can have a good time doing pretty much anything. But, he can't get past all the hurt (and not just about my "betrayal"). I think most of the hurt is how i have pushed him away. I guess part of my problem last night was that i based my reaction on believing that there is an ow, and that he is leaving me to be with her. I'm not saying that there is no ow, but nothing is set in stone. And i know that i was desperate, trying to hold onto him. He actually said that when we were in therapy last year, that we were both "desperate." I don't think so...but maybe thats how he saw it. So, what do i do? I desperately don't want this. He does still seem to have mixed feelings about it. He believes that getting away from me will get him away from the hurt and pain. I don't think so, but thats just me.

Anyway, i am rambling. Thanks for your feedback...i was starting to feel like i was going to lose it b/c no one had responded, and i really needed some feedback. Thank you.