Just when i think that it can't get any worse... I knew i was having these nagging feelings today for a reason...
H called before...bs for a few seconds. Then he says, "well, i don't want you to be blindsided tonight, but we have to talk about selling the house." I said okay, and then he asked if i had anything to say. I told him that i did, but that it seems as if what i have to say doesn't make a difference anyway. His response: your opinion is important. Really? Could have fooled me! Anyway, this descended into a conversation where he just got angry, i tried not to get defensive (when what i really wanted to tell him was FU) and we basically hung up. He said how i was the one who insisted that the house be sold, but that he had been willing to hang on and see what happens. This was news for me. I told him how when we went to the mediator back in September he presented it as the D was inevitable. So, my stance regarding the house was that it would be sold, b/c i didn't want him living there after we D. He basically flip-flopped and said this was my doing, yada yada. He just got pissed off. I tried to explain to him that if he feels the D isn't a done deal, then of course the house didn't have to be sold. But, he really had no comment about that. I asked him if this was just another way to punish me, and he said no, b/c i was getting more money than he felt i was entitled to anyway when the house is sold (a$$hole). Then he tried to be a martyr...how he made the phone call out of common courtesy so i wouldn't be blindsided tonight. Gee, like i didn't see the real estate folder when i was there on Sunday. God, i am so pissed off right now. He seems to forget, that he has no reason to want to sell...he gets to live there and do whatever he wants. Meanwhile, i have to live someplace else. Plus, he is the one who said he couldn't afford to live there by himself anyway (have to remember to mention this tonight). Clearly, he was just manipulating me. Of course he wants to hold onto the house...he has no incentive to sell. I just don't know what to do. I feel horrible right now, all b/c he is being a jerk. I can't stand it. I feel like i am going to have a nervous breakdown (it doesn't help that i am completely overwhelmed at work). So, now, i don't know what to do tonight. I want to avoid this topic, but i know i can't. He tried to insinuate that selling the house is only accelerating the D. How? If there was a chance that the D wasn't going to happen, then i would be willing to hold off on selling. But, he said, no, this is what you (me) wanted. I did remind him however how he said when we first were doing the agreement, that if things changed we could just throw it out. So, what's the problem now?
How do i handle this? Do i express my feelings over this? I want to tell him how he made me feel today. Or do i just go along with whatever he says, so he doesn't feel as if i am forcing him to do something. God, i hate this. I don't know what to do anymore.
