No contact with H yesterday. Did speak to my brother, who gave me an earful. It only served to upset me, and then i talked to my aunt. Basically, i feel like people in my family are not supporting the choice that i am making to stick it out. And they are not respecting this decision. And it is so frustrating. My brother was saying how my H is doing this and that, and that i should do this and that. And frankly, i want everybody to stop treating me like i am 12. I am 32 years old for god's sake. And i know what i am doing. I don't know why they can't get that through their heads. Yes, i know that they are upset b/c i am hurting. But, when are they going to realize that their disapproval of what i am doing only hurts me more, and causes me to retreat from them more? God, this is hard enough without having to justify my choices to anybody. I just wish they would give me some credit, that i know what i am doing and that i am not an idiot or emotional cripple!

H called me today...first on my cell, and then at work. I was having a terrible day, and when i called him back, i had just had a 2 year old pee all over me...needless to say, i was at my wit's end. So, when i called him, i told him that i was having a really bad day and asked him if he was going to tell me something bad, b/c if he was i couldn't handle it at that time. He said no, that he had just called to arrange the visit to the vet for tomorrow. What a relief. We talked a bit...then i had to go...so, i actually got off the phone with him...thats a first! Anyway, he sounded okay. I am just hoping that nothing comes up tomorrow night. He asked me to get to the house at 6:30 (our appointment is for 7:30) so i hope he is not going to spring something on me. It takes a while to get our cats in their carriers, so that is why he suggested 6:30 - i hope thats all it is.

I keep trying to tell myself that he is going to go through with the D...well, trying to convince myself of that, after everything he has said. But, then i think of PandDBing, and i remember the things her H said and did before he decided to reconcile, and i have hope that my H could turn around. I am just hoping that he does. I am not sure how much more of this i can take.