Thanks hope and super- I know that this is my H projecting onto me. I wonder how much guilt he even feels...i doubt any. I just feel at a loss as to what to do. I wonder if anything would make a difference at this point.
How do you get past this? How do you get over the pain and the hurt and the loss? I was laying in bed last night, crying, wondering what i am supposed to do with all of our pictures. How stupid is that? I can't imagine not having him in my life in some capacity. I don't know if he feels the same. I used to think so, but now i am not so sure.
He called last night..he was very melancholy...he didn't feel well. We talked for a few minutes. He told me he was going to be calling realtors today to come look at the house and give us an idea of how much to ask for it. So, i guess he is taking the next step. He asked me if i had anything to say about it. I just asked him if he had thought about what we had talked about the night before. He said, no, b/c he really wasn't feeling well. So, i don't know what to think.
You know what upset me today? The fact that, if my H moves in with her, then her and her kids will now have my cat as their pet...and that really upset me. Plus, all of our nice new furniture...that was supposed to be for us. God, WTF is wrong with my H?
Should i still have hope? I just don't know anymore. On one hand, i feel like there is absolutely no chance for us. And then, he will say or do something that makes me think otherwise. Like the other night, when i told him i thought that he was thinking of me in negative ways in order to justify him wanting the D, b/c if he still thought of me as the sweet girl he met, he would want to give me another chance. And he said that i was right. I mean, he could have said that i was wrong. He didn't even want to admit that to me. Does that mean anything? He says he will no longer have contact with me, but then if i don't call him for 2 days, he calls me asking if i am still alive. God, this is so confusing.
I'm sorry for rambling...just have so many things on my mind. Thanks for reading.
