Hi lmdi I read over your thread, and just wanted to give some feedback. I agree with everyone that your H is likely projecting his own guilt onto you. When I read about your story it kinda trips me out because it reminds me so much of my own, though, and I feel at such a loss to give advice. I feel hypocritical to tell you that I think you should act "as if" you are moving on, end all intimacy, and hope he wakes up, b/c that is exactly what I feel like I should do but can't seem to succeed at it! However that is what my brain tells me you should do, for what it is worth. And I also fear that my naivity is coming into play, but I have to say that I do think it sounds like your H really does want you back, but that something (guilt? fear? resentment?) is preventing him from making a final decision. Keep in mind that that is also how I feel about my H's actions, so I could be a bad person to listen to here. But just from reading your posts, it does seem like he is terribly confused, which is why I tend to believe that if you pulled away it would force him to make a decision, and while it may seem scary to think what the decision could be, strong feelings like that are hard to get rid of. Plus, maybe just any decision would feel better than this limbo we are stuck in, no? And god, it just seems like your H and my H start to freak a bit if they see us pull back at all. My H makes up the strangest reasons to call if he doesn't hear from me, and then there is their need to be intimate with us somewhat regularly. I wonder what they would feel if that ended. Anyone else have any input on that aspect? Anyway, I am going to sleep now so I am gonna end this here, but in response to your reply on my thread, I am in Bayonne, which is right by Jersey City and Hoboken. It would be great to get together someday. Take Care!
