Wow Preggo, excellent advice. I'm just realizing how much it applies to me too. My H is about to start not just one A but a second and somehow I feel like it's because I've done something wrong. I certainly contributed to the problems in our M, but hell, I'm not the one going off and screwing my coworkers.
Anyway, Imdi, I think Preggo has it right. Your H is projecting what he's done on you. As for snooping, since I found out about my H's first A, I've done probably too much snooping. You have to be prepared to find out the worst about your H. That said, I'm glad I know the truth. I hated being lied to most and felt humiliated that I was the last to know. Knowing what he's up to hurts but at least I feel a little more in control.
