Imdi, that is some excellent advice above. Please take it. I want to see you gain a little bit of strength back.
You don't have to go searching for the definite proof today. But at least think about it; it would give you the chance to forgive yourself. (but I still say you didn't do anything wrong)
By the way, I know it took tremendous courage on your part to actually leave your house last night and NOT spend the night. Be very proud of yourself here. That was not an easy thing to do, but you did it.
I'll check back on you, too. Hugs!!!
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
