Imdi, Now that I have read your post and understand your situation a little clearer, I have to agree with klm. I do think your H. may be projecting here. At the very least, he is using your friendship w/the other guy as an excuse to not reconcile. Maybe he did have an A. or maybe he didn’t before and during your first separation; you may never find out either way. But I have to be honest and say that it doesn’t make sense to say he wants you to pay for what you did. I mean, what did you do? You talked to a guy about your problems during a separation from your H. I see nothing wrong with what you did. I know it is so hard; there is no reasoning with these WAH’s, and it is so frustrating because they will say very irrational things to avoid reconciling, even when their actions speak so differently. I wish I had better advice, Imdi, but as you know I’m also dealing with a stranger WAH encounter and I just don’t know what to make of any of it! Don’t get discouraged. Keep the topic off of your R. and reconciling if you speak to him today. No pressure. Meanwhile, try to get in the mindset again that you CAN be ok without him, Imdi. I know that you hope for your R. to work out, but if it doesn’t in the end, you WILL be all right. This is what I am trying to tell myself just to get through the day. I’ll check back with you soon.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
