I don't know if I have commented on the aspect of your sitch where you still ML to your H even with a D looming. That is very strange to me. I would love to ML to my W but I don't think that would be possible at all right now. Even if she is not having a PA, the EA prevents her from doing it. Has your H always believed that ML was an expression of love, or is it just sex? You seem to see it as love, and if he does too, then I can't help but think that his continuing to do this with you betrays his real feelings. Again, I can't imagine my W desiring to ML right now with me. Maybe it's just a guy thing, and I hope not, because it would mean he's just after sex and nothing else from you. No matter what, he clearly still feels something. He's clearly still confused. He is admitting that he has walls built up that are preventing him from giving you another chance but then peeks around them every once in awhile to see what the other side looks like. I don't know if that's reason for hope but it is reason to wonder. Just don't wonder from your heart, do it from your head. ((((imdi))))
