And thank you for your feedback. You are right, in that it would be a lot easier for me if i didn't see my H every week. Thing is, i never know if he is going to be there or not...it is usually a mystery. Usually, i do try to plan the visit for when he is NOT going to be there. Sometimes, though, he throws me a curve and is either home when i get there, or comes home while i am still there. This is VERY different than a few months ago when i would get there after he left and leave before he got home, as that is how he wanted it. The past few months he hasn't been avoiding me as much.
I am just feeling so sad the past few days. I was talking to my aunt last night (not the one i live with) and she was telling me how unhealthy this whole thing is, and how i should really try to find out for sure if there is an ow and then confront him about it with absolute proof. I know she is right...she thinks that if i force his hand, he might make the decision to be with me. But, actually getting the proof is the hard part. I would either have to follow him myself and see it with my own 2 eyes (very painful) or have someone follow him. I don't know which would be worse on me emotionally.
No contact from my H today. I thought about driving by the ow's house, but i am not ready to deal with that. More nightmares last night about the 2 of them.
I just don't know what to do anymore. The limbo is exhausting. The loneliness is overwhelming. The sadness is excruciating. I just wish my H would make a decision.
Well, sorry for that very depressing post....just feeling very lousy tonight.
Hope - I really do want to meet you and Sassy, but i think it will be crazy for me tomorrow. As you know, it is my visit with my cats, and i look forward to that all week, whether my H is there or not. You and I aren't too far from each other...perhaps we can plan another time? Have a wonderful time tomorrow...tell Sassy i said "hi" - sorry i can't make it.
