Today's update... No contact from H yesterday. He called today around noon -left a message regarding my visit for this weekend. Didn't call him back. He called again...i answered (of course...so hard not to). Spoke briefly. He wanted to know how i was feeling, and about the visit. Getting off the phone, he said "okay, i'll talk to you soon and see you on sunday." I don't get it. It is better in the fact that he used to avoid me when i was visiting. But, i don't think he thinks thats any better. I hate this..the second guessing and the wondering...totally sucks. But, this is how it goes...every time i think, okay, this is it...he is pulling back now...he starts acting more interested and makes more contact. I just don't know what to do. Just feeling very sad again today, and i don't know why. Guess i am just missing him a lot these past few days. And wishing that things could be different...but, wishes don't always come true, now do they?
