are these things unique to us? Or is it just our S's that are unable to deal with the issues? I don't know if i am making sense. Its hard for me to explain. But, i find myself saying a lot "wow, that sounds like me/my H/our sitch." And it makes me think...are these just things that every couple faces. And if so, then what makes them think that it will be any different with their OP's?
Imdi, You're making total sense. I often do the same thing, read posts and relate so well to what's being said. I think a lot of R's face similar challenges. Obviously, there are many spouses who aren't emotionally up to facing them. Then what do you have? A board like this full of LBS's who are trying to save marriages.
I can't see how things will be better with the o.p. Initially they seem to be, because as we all know from DB'ing 101 that the beginning of the R. is the addictive phase that runs on that "high" feeling. Let some reality into that after several months, and I think the high fades a little bit...and then a little bit more...and so on. At least I think so. I don't know if my H. still feels the high with o.w. He does not share any of that with me like he used to. (and for those of you joining us late, yes, my H. used to talk to me openly about his R. with o.w. and treated me like his close friend). Does your H. tell you how he feels about o.w., Imdi? Just wondering.
I am so sorry you are sad tonight. We both are. I wish there were something to ease the pain of this; I guess only more time will help us. But always remember I'm feeling the exact same way, so you're never alone, ok? Just want you to know that.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
