Just feeling very sad tonight...i don't know why, nothing happened. Maybe i am starting to realize that there really is no hope for me and my H...i don't know. What i do know is that i am incredibly sad and lonely and just miss my H so much. And i wish, with all my heart, that everything i have learned over the past few months, i had learned years ago...b/c maybe i wouldn't be here now. I wish i had the chance to show my H how good things could be...but, i don't think i ever will. And that is sad...
Reading so many posts here, i have realized how many similarities there are. Yes, there are plenty of differences. But, it seems like so many stories here have a lot of the same underlying issues. Which makes me wonder...are these things unique to us? Or is it just our S's that are unable to deal with the issues? I don't know if i am making sense. Its hard for me to explain. But, i find myself saying a lot "wow, that sounds like me/my H/our sitch." And it makes me think...are these just things that every couple faces. And if so, then what makes them think that it will be any different with their OP's? I don't know. If just seems to me, that a lot of these situations have more to do with how the WAS's deal with the issues, as opposed to the issues being unique to a particular sitch. Does that make sense? Probably not, b/c i feel like i am just rambling or babbling or whatever.
What i am feeling tonight besides sad is angry...i'm angry that my H has walked away from me and us. I feel let down or something...like my feet have just been knocked out from under me. I am not denying my part in the breakdown of our M...but, come on, no R is perfect...everybody has issues. What happened to "til death do us part?" I just don't understand how someone can just walkaway, to somebody else, especially, when they vowed to be faithful and to love forever. I guess, in my case, forever got a lot shorter.
