SS- Responding to your post on my other thread over here... Sorry that you were feeling pissy yesterday too...sometimes i just think we have those days...and it sucks. But, i guess we gotta just pick ourselves up and face a new day...
Hey hope- Thanks for the breakfast invite. I would love to come out there, but i think it might take me awhile....like maybe 4 hours. How far are you from the city?
Hey TTS- Thanks for your response over on my other thread. I do feel better after i rant, but i just wish i didn't have to. I had been doing pretty good, but lately i have been having those obsessive thoughts again...you know, those ones that keep you up at night and just turn your stomach? Yeah, those. I just wish that this would all go away, you know? Thanks for the offer to break another wedding photo I might take you up on it later...
About an hour or so; it depends on the traffic. If you want to meet us, ask Sassy to tell you how to get to the restaurant; it’s actually not in my town, but near where she’ll be staying. We’d love to see you. Your thread title brought tears to my eyes; are you ok today? I do feel the same way a lot of the time, Imdi. Lately I’m suspecting that my H. may be staying with o.w., possibly living with her and I don’t know if I should confront him and ask, or just stay quiet. What do you think? I value your opinion very much. I’m still trying to claw my way out of the sadness, too, Imdi. We’ve gotta stick together, ok? Tell me, are you making any plans for what you might do, should things not work out with your H? I think it is essential that we at least have some idea of what we’ll do, where we’ll go. I’m not trying to be pessimistic, but we cannot remain in limbo forever. I look at it this way: my R. with my H. is on life support. He is too cowardly to pull the plug; I might end up having to do it. Post again soon; let me know how you are.
Most of us really marry only once. First love endures, even unto our dying day. And we never really divorce.
Hope- I'm going to ask Sassy where the restaurant is and then figure out how long it will take me to get there.
I'm sorry my title thread brought tears to your eyes. Am i okay today? I guess...no better, no worse than usual. Just feeling sorry for myself i guess. The past few days i am plagued by thoughts of H and ow. And it hurts and it sucks. And, quite frankly, it pisses me off. My H is baffling...
We’ve gotta stick together, ok?
Okay...its a deal
I have been thinking about what i will do if my M should end. I know that i will probably move closer to my job. Right now, i am about 25 miles away, so moving closer would help. I've thought about maybe changing jobs, but since my job is the only stability i have right now, i am gonna stick it out here. Plus, i just got a mini-promotion (i think...more $ anyway)...so, things are okay. Other than that, i really don't have much of a plan. I know that i need to stand up on my own 2 feet...but its hard.
I know, in my head, that we can't remain in limbo forever. Its my heart that is another story. I wish the 2 would somehow meet in the middle. I think my problem is that i just don't feel strong enough to be on my own. I don't know, its hard to explain. I just never thought i would have to be on my own. I mean, i don't know a thing taxes and finances or car insurance or anything like that. My H always took care of all of that. So, thats kind of scary. I guess i'm just being a big baby about it...responsibility is not my strong suit.
I look at it this way: my R. with my H. is on life support. He is too cowardly to pull the plug; I might end up having to do it.
Good way to put it. My thing is...i can't figure out why my H hasn't pulled the plug already. I mean, what is he waiting for. If he has been with ow for 2 years, like i suspect, she's been waiting around for awhile...isn't she getting restless? And anyway, can't she just sit her fat ass in her house with her 2 kids and leave my H alone? Now, i'm getting pissed.
H called yesterday afternoon to see how i was feeling. Brief convo, but okay. He called again last evening on his way to a meeting...we chatted a bit. I told him i was in pain from my "surgery"....he asked if i needed ice cream...i told him no, that i needed coffee and rice krispie treat from starbucks (this is a thing for us)...he said, okay, if i don't get out of my meeting late. So he called a little while later and we met for coffee. Spent about an hour together...it was nice. No R talk...just BSed and laughed. It was nice to see him. But, its so hard to see him. B/c i make more out of these get togethers than he does, i am sure. Does he think they are anything other than coffee? I don't know. Sometimes, i think he is putting me through a test. Long story why, but thats what i think sometimes. I don't know. He is just so odd...and hard to figure out. I hate not trusting him...thats the hardest thing in the world...questioning everything he does. At least if he was honest about ow, it would hurt, but then he wouldn't have to lie. I'm exhausted. And i'm sick. And i can't take it anymore. But, i won't make the decision to pull the plug. God, i wish i was stronger.
You ARE stronger by virtue of going through this! You know that. Just because you feel weak now means nothing. You're loving, not weak. You can love without pain if you love without expectation. You are strong. I have seen that, and so have many others here. Believe in yourself as we believe in you!
I might take you up on it later...