First, hang in there. I have found that as rough as things get, there is usually something good that happens after, even if it is small or does not involve the R or the W. My first thoughts about detachment were that it was a bunch of crap. How could I show W that I loved her and was changing. But now, I am becoming more detached and it seems to be helping. I finally told W that if a D is what she wants, she can have it. You know what, she has not mentioned it since and I think it is because she does not want it either. I pray for you and all others when I go to bed at night (We have agreed that I will sleep in the spare bedroom) that things turn out for the better for us. If nothing else comes out of this, I know that I will be better for it because I have learned not to take W for granted and I can apply that in a future R (if there is one). Embrace the fears that you have that will not destroy you. D sounds like a strong thing, but in the end, it may be best to sever the ties that are not bringing you happiness. It is not the end of the world and who knows, maybe she will see you for who you really are and come back. Look out for you and the kids, all else will sort out and eventually be OK.
