Quote: Well, this is the best way to sever all ties at once and she knows it. Then she will be free to go with Mr. Right into the sunset.
Grasshopper: exactly! Now we're talking! Now, listen to this (I know I sound like a radio playing other people's words, but stay with me)
"There's the feeling that anything that cost this much emotionally had damn well better be worth it. The greater the sacrifices, the greater the expectations from the new marriage. Now that the promosed land has been reached, it should flow with milk and honey. But insteadm whatever these people were expecting, the best they are likely to find now is the ordinarities of real life. Nothing could be good enough to make up for what this has cost. The reward is in the going, not in the getting there. The more pople enjoy the battles involved in wrecking and escaping marriages, the less they are likely to enjoy the business-as-usual of the new marriage that was the destination of it all. People risk everything on the hope that they can achieve joy by changing everything in their lives except themselves. They would like to press a button and have the old life go away and the new life appear. The human animal has an unfortunate tendency to identify the source of unhappiness as coming from outside itself"
Bottomline: whatever you do, don't try to share this information with your W. But do keep in mind that you are the one with the brain right now, and now it has a clearer picture of what most likely lies ahead. She doesn't know it, but you do. Hopefully, it will give you more perspective and more certainty that there will be a time when you get to decide whether to return or not. You see more, you know more, you can think clearly and process all this information; you have a big advantage, just keep it secret
To get through the darkest period of the night, act as if it is already morning.
The Talmud
