First of all, calm down. Second of all, calm down more. Thirdly, drink a glass of water and think about what you have to lose, exactly. Right now it seems that you might lose a W who no longer wants you M and has an OM, if I see it correctly. If your W decided to end it, not only you can't do anything, but honestly, would you want to? She has to lose a faithful wonderful spouse not to mention M and kids, but she can't see it clearly right now. In fact, according to the same author, she can't see clearly at all.
Another piece of advice: QUote. " In my practice, it may be that the disasters are only inevitable when people use romance to jump from marriage to marriage without a rest stop in between. There is something inherently doomed in those marriages that began as marriage-wrecking affairs. While over half the people who get into romantic affairs end up divorced, only a fourth marry the affairee. Even then, three-fourths of those romantic marriages end up in divorce. There is a greater likelihood that the divorcing partner will be back with the original spouse in 5 years than the romantic affair will be a stable marriage at that time."
The advice is, don't make drastic desicions and try to extend the whole process if possible, but subtly. Give them time, but try your best to not give them opportunity to struggle against obstacles: romance thrives on it. No obstacles, no excitement. Act cool, and say that although you strongly disagree, but if that's what your W wants to do with her life, let her go and be happy.
To get through the darkest period of the night, act as if it is already morning.
The Talmud
