The more you divulge your sitch, the more I'm convinced we married the same woman! I am completely the same way at home, always have been in terms of service, maybe not in terms of words of affirmation, but always the one to go out of my way for drinks, service, etc. On the other hand, I often wonder whether my she has even cared to speak my language, but that's something for another day.
It is definitely a tough situation because you're right in some sense...she's experiencing that sense of euphoria because of the sitch and she's not taking the time to see what she has in front of her. The blinders are on and that's why it is so critical of you to be the best for yourself and continue to speak the language, at some level it IS registering with her. Unfortunately your expectations are still there.
I'm convinced that she will eventually come around, it may take some time, but I really do. Speaking from experience, reality will set in at some point and she will have to face a decision. In my sitch, if you remember, I was on the other side of the fence and living in fantasy world was very nice because I had the best of both worlds, emotional support from OW and house, W and kids to come home to. At some point, I had to face reality and ask myself some very tough questions. She too will have to face this reckoning and your actions now will speak volumes to her then.
"Achieve success, but without vanity; Achieve success, but without aggression; Achieve success, but without gain; Achieve success, but without force." Lao Tzu
