Well, I backslid in a MAJOR way. The explosion happened but it was sorta controlled. We were going into a restaurant for lunch with the kids. As soon as we get near the door, her phone rings. It was HIM and she told me to go ahead. WTF! This is the first for this. So I went in and got in line. She was still out there a few minutes later and I lost it. I went out with S3 in my arms and asked her to come in. Nothing. Waited, let people go past us because we were paying with a credit card she had. I was fuming. I went back out, walked closer to her and told her she could call him back and probably should try to talk those calls some other time. She started to walk closer, then hung up after I was back inside. Then:
M: You need to tell him you'll call him back. W: It's not that easy sometimes. M: Really, you seem perfectly willing to put our entire family on hold for him. W: Thats' not true. M: Really? W: I told you how it is. M: Yea, I'll get over it. I AM getting over it. It seems like you made your decision and I'll make mine. W: I told you what was going on and you need to decide what you need to do. M: Oh, I will.
We ordered our food (bbq, order at the counter, they bring it to the table) and a little more happened at the table.
M: I'm sorry, I was out of line. W: It's just how you do this. M: Yea, well I have my limits. W: [said something about the kids not being involved] M: Well, they will be sooner or later. W: Thats' not true. M: Anyway, I was out of line. I will get over it.
So we eat, and the whole time she's getting impatient. She says she needs to get home (we left her car at the shopping center) and wishes she had her car so she could get going. Some [censored] about lots of laundry to do. So we rush out, get her back to her car. I followed her to her car.
M: Do you realize the stress I am under. W: Yes. Like I said 90% of why I am the way I am is because of how it affects you. M: So you told me how it is, right? What did that mean? How IS it? W: I don't know. M: So you love him? W: I don't know. How COULD I know. I only just met him. (remember the "I love you sweetie" on her phone). M: Ok, he loves you then? W: I don't know I said. M: But you're willing to risk everything for just having some fun? W: I'm not just having fun, dating a bunch of people you know. M: I know, only one person. M: So do you see any way you would come back? W: What do you mean come back? M: To us. W: What do you mean US? You keep lumping the kids into this. It's not about them and that's your way to stick it to me. M: Ok, fine, then me, come back to me? W: I haven't disregarded it, no. M: So what do I need to do. W: I don't know. I don't know.... M: No, not to get you to come back, I mean what do I need to do in the meantime. How do I act? How would YOU act? Would you already be gone? W: I don't know. M: How did you act when Don (her ex BF from a long time ago. Think they were engaged) did this to you? He did it 3 times, didn't he? So that means he did it and you went through what I'm going through. W: I don't know what to tell you. I don't know how I felt. M: Ok. It just hurts to have the one person in the world that's been there for you for the better part of 10 years not even give you a hug. W: Welcome to 7 years of marriage. (gets into her car). M: I know. Don't you think I know. W: All this time, you've done things your way, on your schedule without a thought. I'm not doing that anymore. M: Don't you know I know that now? W: I guess....
She left, and the saga continues. As we were about 1/2 way home, I realized she had the kid's shoes in her car I was taking them in my care to the state park. I call her to tell her I need their shoes and would wait at home. It sounded like she was outside so I asked her if she was home already and she said no, she was going into Target. WTF! This was the same woman in such a hurry to get home. So I said I would come back and get them. Ok she says. Then she calls back and says she's in another store and her car's parked there. She says she's shopping in there. Ok, I tell her I will stop by and will she be waiting. She gets pissed. Oh yea she said, I have my keys. Then she's getting frustrated. "Just take them in their sandals". blah blah blah. I agreed to do that. Long story short, it's obvious she was meeting him. Gee, so not only taking the call, but has to rush to see him instead of us. Screw her. I will do my best today but so far my best is not enough. I am losing my mind here. She's going out tonight, she saw him just now. Screw this. I will try, but without some serious help, I will fail. I know I am being needy, desperate and unattractive. Well, that's how I feel, may as well let it show. I'm getting off the path guys, and I don't want to. I am going to hang on as much as I can here. Any advice is begged for at this point.
