Thanks Flower. I know all that stuff it's just so hard to implement. Now everyone is gone and I am going to have to face being alone with W and kids. It seems like the feeling from earlier is back because I just look at her and know the lies and deception is standing right in front of me. I really hate this again. I am going to have to resist harder than ever before to not say SOMETHING to her tonight. I feel like crap right now. I feel lower than ever before. I feel like a doormat more than ever. Sadly, I know many of you are in much worse sitches, including my friend Tim, yet I still feel too weak to withstand this. I want to ask her how long I need to "let her do what she needs to do" in her words. I want to ask her WTF! She may be the woman I love, but she is also the woman I despise on some level now. Sure, I know, it's not about me. Well, I'M about me and my wits end is near. Thank you to you all for getting me this far. It will be a miracle if I get through tonight without exploding.
