Sure. That's easy, they need me, and it gives me purpose. If you read through my threads, at some point I discovered in counseling that I have always lived my life for others. From childhood I have relied on my ability to please others to keep them in my life (or so I thought). As an only child to parents who were less than affectionate, I guess I felt alone at home so I desperately needed to be liked/loved. Funny thing is I have never succumbed to peer pressure of any kind so at least I picked my codependent friends well. So, now in adulthood, I meet a woman who needs someone to care for her and it doesn't get any easier than that for feeling wanted/needed. All I had to do was be sensitive, something that I'm good at, and they would love me. I didn't really have to be a real person, just a person willing and able to take care of their intense needs at the time. It's kind of like instant deep relationship, just add the water of tears. Of course someone healing you is powerful and a bond is sure to form. I am really making this up as I go along but it seems about right. For me, and maybe your H, hell, many men, a damsel in distress is impossible to resist. We get to be heroic, knights in shining armor, there for them at their darkest hour. It feels great! Too bad eventually we have to take the armor off, and they eventually don't need to be saved. That's when the problems start if there really isn't anything there but an old stale rescue holding the relationship up. I hope that helps. In your case, I would think it may because it means there could be a time when she no longer needs his saving and starts to look deeper. In my case, with my M, I know the decision to get married was NOT based on need but what we both thought of as true love. Of that I can be sure, of much else...who knows.
