I am going to try to stay the course as this trip approaches. Right now it is very tentative. We have no tickets or place to stay but I have requested the time off and cleared my shoot schedule so I CAN go. I have to admit that I have a little apprehension building already. It is a daunting thing to contemplate traveling that far, for that long, with someone you may not even be married to three weeks later. I know that is awful thinking. One thing that shook me a little was tonight she said she really didn't want to go to Ireland and it was only because her sister and BIL were going that we were too. She would rather go somewhere else this time, or maybe even alone (WTF!) later in the year... Alone me arse! Anyway, I will let that little slip slide and try to get back on the positive train.
Journaling:
Tonight has been ok. It is S3's birthday today but his party is on Saturday so we just opened a few presents and went out to dinner. My W was on edge all afternoon and evening. She still is now. She's not being rude or anything, just VERY distant, more so than in the past week or so. We have talked VERY little tonight and I am upstairs cleaning a bit before I turn in. Her mood, although I am detaching, has affected me. It is so different from the lighter place she seemed to be in the past few days. I did not let it show that it affected me though and powered through the evening with S5 & S3. One more thing that has gotten to me a bit lately is that she is wearing a ring on her right hand that I do not recognize. Her mother buys/gives her jewelry all the time and that's where she says it came from but it doesn't look like her style at all. I asked about it a few days ago but let it drop since then. Of course, I am thinking it came from somewhere else... Oh well, you can detach the heart but the damn brain keeps on a diggin, eh? Tomorrow is another day...
