Well, I'm back once again. I've had a quick look around, and I'm not terribly surprised to see many familiar "faces", and I'm sure nobody will be too surprised to see me back again. I'm not in a position at the moment to do much browsing to see where everyone's at, but I'm sure I'll get caught up again before too long. I can't remember when I last posted, but I do recall it was a pretty angry post. I've been "dark" for the last while, which isn't the best way to be, but I've discovered sometimes it's necessary. Either that or throw the whole R in the trash, which I wasn't ready to do yet.
Anyway, just a quick recap - for the past year or so, W has been pretty much completely unresponsive, and blaming it on menopause (she's 52 now, I'm almost 50). We've mostly busied ourselves with other things for the past year or so, although we did make some efforts from time to time. On New Year's day, however, (really the day after) I was out for a couple of hours, and when I came back, she wanted to talk. She'd thought about where things were at, and expressed a sincere desire to work at getting back on track. She had bought Suzanne Somers' book "The Sexy Years" several months before, and finally got around to reading it seriously. It talks about natural HRT (bioidentical hormones), and how to seek out help.
So, progress to date: she made (and kept) an appointment with a local menopause specialist, attached to a compounding pharmacy, and has been given some medications to try (testosterone creme and estrogen creme). She also asked me to read a few chapters in the book, which I did, and found them most enlightening. The pharmacy will fax the recommendations to her doctor, who will hopefully write the necessary prescriptions, and she'll have them in short order. Based on what I read in the book, I discussed with her this morning that she should get a vibrator, and she seemed receptive to that idea. I also have in mind that we will spend some time in the coming weeks discussing her overall attitude towards sex, which I percieve as negative, and see if we can find ways for both of us to get on the same page. I'll be encouraging her to really explore the advice in the book, which seems very good and to-the-point. For my part, I'll remain supportive and as helpful as I can be.
So how am I feeling at the moment? Those who remember me will pardon me for being somewhat optimistic, but guarded. I've been down this road a number of times, and each time has led to disappointment. I'm going to have to work hard not to be cynical at this point. I'm hoping I'll still be able to open up my heart to her and work towards intimacy, but I'm also somewhat fearful that there might be too much baggage. I'm sure we'll both have much to un-learn and re-learn. I'm planning to practice patience and encouragement. Hopefully I'll soon have something to post in the "Success Stories" thread...
