Erin, it's good to hear from you. I'm glad you're steeling yourself for whatever comes ... I know it isn't easy.
Quote: Sometimes I feel so broken down by this that I wonder if I will ever be the joyful person I once was.
I know that you will. You have so many things going for you. You know that your happiness doesn't lie in your H, and (ultimately) he can't take it from you.
As for whether or not you should move -- that's a tough one. Moving away is the ultimate "going dark". For sure, it makes dealing with day-to-day life easier because you're not around him and not being hurt by him. (BTW, have you discussed the potential custody issue with your H?) You also seem so alone; it doesn't seem to me from your writing that you have many close friends where you are, and you might benefit from having family to help. On the other hand, it eliminates the opportunity to show your H the new you.
His moving in with the OW might be just the break you need. As it is now, he doesn't have to see her on her bad days, he doesn't have time to get annoyed with little things that she does, he doesn't see her full personality, etc. She can mostly just be a fantasy.
Personally, I would guess, then, that you're a year or more away from a likely end to his A (my guesses are worth what you pay for them). I think that, if I were you, I'd be planning on how to spend the next 18 months. At that point, it will probably be clear what direction you need to move in.
Best of luck, and thanks for letting us know how you were doing.
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
