I hope things are going a little better for you this week. The advice from BeingMe is very good. You will need to detach from your H, and love yourself a whole lot right now. I have done a TON of self care in the past four months, and it is really beginning to be apparent to everyone. People at work are complimenting me on my appearance, the Home Depot guys are flirting with me when I go shopping for plumbing supplies my therapist, my friends, everyone is noticing how great I look, my glow, etc. Some of it is just outer appearance since I have been exercising and losing weight, but most of it is the inner work that people are sensing. I am here to tell you that you can have a life you love with or without your H. Now don't get me wrong, I miss my H big time, and I love him, and I remain committed. But when (I say when not if - it is an affirmation for me) anyway when he decides that he is ready to work on the M, there will be a time when I will get to discuss my needs and wants and hopes and dreams in the M, and evaluate whether the M with my H is workable for ME. Don't get me wrong, I am confident that it is going to work out for us. But we BOTH need to choose again at some point to have that happen. And you won't be ready to choose him or anything/anybody else unless you are whole. So work on becoming whole once again, in every way.
By the way, BeingMe is correct about the fact that the A won't last. The A is not the issue. No point in focusing on that - don't give it any power in your life or thoughts. I confess I have snooped a little, but I am clear now that it can hurt me a lot and not provide much of value. The only time I found the snooping worthwhile was when I looked at my H's phone bill one time, and discovered he was making approximately 18 contacts per day with the OW. That confirmed for me that the A is an addiction, and helped me to detach further. I never would have believed my H was hooked in to that extent without some documentation - unless he had told me everything about the A himself, which is not likely anytime soon as my H is very ashamed even though I believe the A continues. I suspect your H is ashamed too. My H doesn't want to tell anyone about the A. But frankly, I have decided that is fine. I want to make it as easy as possible for him to come home, without any extra shame than he already has. And since it really isn't about the A anyway, what difference does it make? However, I will not lie. But I have gotten very clever in saying less. I have always been a talker, and I am learning to be a minamilist in this regard. I tell people my H and I are currently separated, that I love my H and am doing everything I can to support the M in continuing, and hope and pray that my H will come home because that is what I want. I say it pretty confidently, and people drop it after that. I have told a few close friends and have asked them not to judge him or me, that I am only looking for them to provide support for the continuation of our M. A friend and one daughter have become judgemental so I have distanced from them for now. Anyway, if you have told your parents, just make sure to heed MamaBear's advice - don't provide too much detail, and continue to maintain your H's respect and dignity in the minds of others. People will react to what you are saying based on what you choose to convey. So decide what kind of reaction you want to generate. I want to generate support for my H, for me, and for the continuation of our M.
I think of you often, and urge you to take care of yourself. The best things I have done for myself are weekly deep tissue massage, IC, and going back to church. Although the pedicures, exercise, weight loss, new clothes, and reading and educating myself have helped too. Oh, and the new sexual device Gotta GAL while I'm "waiting", you know?
So, what are you going to do for yourself today? Meanwhile, I am sending you a very special delivery PL hug.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
my therapist, my friends, everyone is noticing how great I look, my glow, etc. Some of it is just outer appearance since I have been exercising and losing weight, but most of it is the inner work that people are sensing. I am here to tell you that you can have a life you love with or without your H. Now don't get me wrong, I miss my H big time, and I love him, and I remain committed. But when (I say when not if - it is an affirmation for me) anyway when he decides that he is ready to work on the M, there will be a time when I will get to discuss my needs and wants and hopes and dreams in the M, and evaluate whether the M with my H is workable for ME. Don't get me wrong, I am confident that it is going to work out for us. But we BOTH need to choose again at some point to have that happen. And you won't be ready to choose him or anything/anybody else unless you are whole. So work on becoming whole once again, in every way. 
