Sorry RB - and GH and PL and anybody else whom I accused of having a better sitch than me. Gawwwd. How pathetic. Seeing your post made me see how ridiculously negative I am being. I'm just stuck in a bad place right now. I can't think of anything else to do, am taking care of myself as best I can with a hurt foot and a kid and a job and a dog and an absent husband, AND, I am loathe to admit, but I have been seeing some e-mail traffic between them this week (shameful I know. I don't know why I can't stop. His blackberry is down and so he is using his yahoo account which he knows I can access - almost like he wants me to see it...) and it makes me want to vomit and then die. And then vomit some more. I've got to stop. Maybe I'll change his password to something I don't know - oh no, wait, that won't work! He he. Anyway, like always, I'm having all sorts of obsessive thoughts about sending her e-mail, or getting my brother, who is a bit of a computer wiz, to send her something that blows up her machine, or talking to thier boss (they would both be in BIG trouble. For real.) I know the trick is to accept that I can't do anything here, much less any of the mean things I am thinking of, nonetheless, here I am thinking about it. It's like when I get hurt really badly, I slip right back into the emotional responses I was having at first. Just like GH says - we're all good at detaching as long as things are going okay...
Anyway, RB, I see how you have suffered through these months, and I really didn't mean to belittle it. I was only thinking about myself and my own misery. Remember this, though, what I really meant is that I have a good feeling about your sitch working out. Are gut feelings worth anything around here?
