I just want to say that I think RB is on to something. Although the first day back with my H was pretty great and somewhat of a surprise, by the time I spoke to him on Saturday night by phone (3 days later), he was in a pretty deep (and familiar looking) hole. Back to the TV, work and sleep as the only activities he can manage. That seems like depression to me. I ended up telling him I was having a great time (which was only partially true, and partially an "act as if" as I really miss him, especially on a holiday) and I realized later that my response may have caused him to withdraw into his hole even further. He knows that he isn't feeling so great, and can't even really fake it. But you know, I can't really help him too much with this. If he is in an addictive cycle (which is exactly how it appears) then he is going to have to figure out what to do to get his life back on track. All I can do is continue to be loving and available, so that if he ever does figure out what's going on for himself, he'll still be able to talk to me about it.
So I think RB is quite right, you might need to be prepared for a depressed H. How often is your H currently visiting his OW? Mine is averaging every 2 months. I do figure that in between visits I have an opportunity to keep reinforcing my wonderfulness. So see if you can leave the frosty reception out. I know it is hard, but if you really want your M to possibly work out, your CONSISTENT safe and loving demeanor will be the impression you will want in his brain. I personally believe that some day (I don't know when, or if it will be soon enough) but someday my H will tire of the OW, or she will tire of him, and I want my shot at the creation of a wonderful new relationship with my H.
So hang in there, as best you can. And vent here. I know how hard it is. You know I do. But somehow, one day at a time, I am seeing that there is progress. It is very slow. For us go getters it is excruciating it is so slow it is almost imperceptible. But just take a deep breath, let him interact with your son, and observe and listen (and shut up ) if you can't manage to do more. Are you keeping your solutions journal? What are your goals and baby steps? I'm rooting for you, like a sister. Hang in.
PositivelyListening ************************************** When one door of happiness closes, another one opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us. - Helen Keller
) if you can't manage to do more. Are you keeping your solutions journal? What are your goals and baby steps? I'm rooting for you, like a sister. Hang in. 
