Quote: I think that just about everyone on this board would say that if you can handle your S being at home and can DB effectively from that position, that's generally better.
I'll clarify that some more and say that it depends on your sitch.
For example, my 31-year-old W is having an A with a 20 year old kid who's a thief, is about to declare bankruptcy, has no job and no education (not even a HS diploma), and is prone to angry outbursts. I KNOW that this OM will never be able to satisfy my W's emotional needs. I KNOW that their A will eventually end. So it doesn't matter that much to me that my kicking her out caused her to run to OM's arms and live with him. If my W were having an affair with the businessman of the year who also heads up a major charity project and won a bodybuilding contest, I might be a tad more concerned about my decision to kick her out. I am also in a position where my W cannot file for D for another 21 months, so I don't have to worry about that.
The question that I think determines it is: If he's at home with you, how will you act? Will you be able to act "as if" and GAL and seem to be enjoying life, or will you be an emotional wreck, get into arguments with him, and make sarcastic comments?
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
