Quote: I think that just about everyone on this board would say that if you can handle your S being at home and can DB effectively from that position, that's generally better. I couldn't handle it, and I'm glad I kicked my W out, so you have to take my advice from that standpoint.
I often wonder about this, I really do. Erin, my W lives at home, and the OM is still around but she goes WAY out of her way to NOT throw things in my face. I don't know if that's good or bad since it involves lies and deception on her part, but it DOES allow me to retain some sanity even if it's derived from denial. What I am saying is that yes, I have made it work thus far with my W living at home, and yes, I can see how it may be better this way, HOWEVER, it is VERY difficult to have her around as a CONSTANT reminder of what is and what is not. Sometimes I feel that it would be easier if she were not at home. I sometimes, and I know it's crazy, envy some of those who get to "go dark" and "GAL" without all the complexities of having their WAS living with them. Certain things would be MUCH easier without her around, but then again, winning her back may be MUCH harder. I dunno since I have not experienced both scenarios. Tim did and I think he would tell you that as hard as it was, having her in the house was better in the long run.
What RB said about most people here thinking it is preferable to have WAS at home...well...frankly, most people here DON'T or never have had their WAS living at home while the affair still continued. The few that HAVE gone through this I would think have mixed feelings like I do.
Like RB said, you need to do what's right for you. You COULD try it out and see how things go, but you need to have boundaries, which even he suggested when he asked your terms for him to come back.
