PR and GH - want to respond to both of your posts - but I have a new conundrum and not much time, and since I haven't slept in days I can't see my way through it clearly - IN short (since I only have a few minutes to type) H called this am. MIL kicked him out last night. I saw it coming, and between the bottle of wine she drank and her anger in hearing that I didn't think we were going to make it, she kicked him out. He called this am asking why I didn't invite him home to sleep in the guest room. I said that onus was on him. He wanted to know my terms. I said I wasn't sure if it would be okay, that he made his bed, and that this was my space now for recovery. He was a bit defensive, since he does pay all the bills, and we can't afford for him to rent an apartment. Let me first say that I am always very practical in making decisions, and he is always emotional in making decisions. Do I: 1. let him come home as a roommate, with no expectations, and just be glad to have another adult here helping with S2? 2. Say no way - he must learn to live with his choices. And also try to protect this space for me without having to watch him conduct his affair from our home. Last week I would have said he could only come home if he ended it with her. Why would I think any differently now? 3. See this as a blessing in disguise - now that he would be home with no exepctations at all, I would have the chance to be near him and remind him how great I am and S2 is?
I see the practical solution - since there really isn't any extra money. But, I know he isn't making practical decisions, and I do want to honor myself and maintain some integrity. Finally, I wonder if it ins't a trap to start thinking that me saying I'm done will get him to come around. I know it won't, but I am so bruised and sad that my fragile little mind wants to invent ways in which this will work out. Thoughts? Erin
