Well, it's done. Yesterday H said he WAS going to Germany, and wasn't considering not going. I said I couldn't tolerate that. He said I should let him go, and not let him denegrate me like that. I said okay. I tried to make it my decision - that I was letting him go becuase I saw that he was already gone, and so I was done with him. We talked about D - a year away in Va because we have a child. We talked about his A - I asked him to a to least own that it is THE major issue at this point keeping him from considering reconciliation. He will not own that. I went too far in saying that they won't make it. Their R is fantasy. Furthermore, he is operating on pure fantasy when he rationalizes that his relationship with S2 won't change. He can't see it right now, anymore than he can see his loving wife in front of his cheating nose. We talked a bit about his issues in the larger sense. Entitlement and ego. I encouraged him to work on him. There are a few more big things, but the point is that we are done. I don't think that is what you all meant by detaching, is it? I am numb and devastated, but mostly I still think I had to tell him I couldn't tolerate him continuing to see her and not giving me any chance. The thing is, he still says he is only 95% sure. I asked him why he would go forward, with such serious consequences, when he is only 95% sure. He doesn't know. I suppose I am done with this board and done with DB, no? Letting him go is letting him go in my book. I think that seeing this as a step in getting him back is tempting to my devastated psyche, but ultimately not true or useful. I'm not sure how to go forward myself, but I know I will.
