not sure what to do next-please help

[RBinBR]

he went on about how he never got enough recognition in our M

Are you doing anything about this? This is hugely important -- your H has given you a big key towards regaining his heart. As hard as it may be right now, you need to find things that you still admire about him and let him know when you talk. I believe that in your acting "as if," you should indicate that you still believe in him and are confident that he will eventually do the right thing.

Your previous mention of your sarcastic comments indicates another area that you can address this issue. You have to stop all of those permanently.

I suggested that maybe his internet/MB habit was out of proportion to his real life, and he agreed. Anyway, to spare you the details, the more I think and read about this, I think it is critiical to what happened with OW, and although I don't see him taking responsibility for it (maybe ever) I do think he is interested in changing this pattern.

There's no question in my mind, Erin. Most men don't get nearly enough admiration from their wives. For myself, I can tell you that I've always wanted to be proud of me. The lack of that was my largest unmet need in my marriage.

For example, the worst moment for me in our marriage (until her recent A, of course) was when I was fired in early 2004. The moment in my life when I was lowest, felt the most like a failure, and needed her support the most ... that when became angry with me and heaped more rejection on.

My own problem with porn was largely a misguided attempt to fill that emotional need. I could pretend that the women on the screen admired me and thought I was the greatest. It usually wasn't about sexual release.