not sure what to do next-please help

[RBinBR]

Now, about Germany I am still stuck. I just don't know how I can tolerate it if he does go. I can avoid doing anything rash until then, but I don't know if I can tolerate DBing when he comes back.

Erin, I think you need to start working on some plans right now. Don't be left to react without putting some thought into what you will do in different situations.

I know that he thinks he can disentangle himself by going - but we all see that he will only be more entangled. Horribly so. Lord, if only he wouldn't go.

Now, why do you say that? Can you predict how his trip is going to go? You are assuming that he will become more emotionally attached to her, but the exact opposite could happen.

Besides, didn't he meet her in Jan.? So, to quote GH, what will really change by his going? He has been having an A, and it is continuing. The only thing you have to decide is how you are going to react.

I also wanted to pull up something you said a while back:

In fact, I have been struggling with this new found anger - part of me thinks it has been around for a while, appropriately so, and I am just now feeling it, and then part of me says YES! feel it! Move through it! and part of me says oh no, quash that anger before it moves me to something I don't want. I am not used to feeling angry and I just don't know what to do with this. I mean, I see that anger is to be avoided, but I also suspect that anger left unmitigated turns into resentment, and that has been a trap for me my whole life.

Are you letting this anger out? You don't want to try to squash it. I'm concerned because you're yelling at your kid. Take a broom and beat your bed with it or something. Does running get the anger out for you? Find a way to get it out without hurting your son.