Dear Erin... Just want to tell you that it's okay to flounder in your DBING... You are still fairly new at this. Gawd...I am at it for almost a year and I am still as wishy-washy as ever at time. Like you, I've snooped and made myself feel like sh!t. I know that I need to stop and yet am addicted to find out the truth. And it hurts like hell when you find out that they are still lying their pants off. I've had H telling me that he wants to come back to the family, had told the ow yadda yadda yadda..and yet I find out that he has been lying and been with her instead of coming back to see his boys. So.... snooping is bad bad bad. Whether we snoop or not, whether we like it or not, they are gonna lie. lie. lie. So why do we torture ourselves? I am actually asking this question myself too!!! Why do I do it??
THe other thing that is very very important is NEVER NEVER confronting the ow! You will be the BAD guy in front of your H's eyes. NEVER! Remember NEVER!! If you do, he will be the hero that saves the ow from distress. And you will be the wicked witch. As it is, he is not so nice and if you confront the ow...you will go backwards sooooo many steps that it would difficult to get back to this spot. Always I repeat Always take the HIGH road!! She is a skank that is not worth your time or effort to even talk to her. Remember that!! I know the temptation is great. I know... I know where she works. I know where she lives. I have her mobile number. I know her car number. I even know her passport number. Heck..I could do loads...but I don't. I wouldn't say my sitch has improved by leaps and bounds...but its not getting worse I guessed...
If you wanna check my yoyo-ing experiences..it's under "Still Yoyo-ing about #6"...Yup... it's been a long long time.... Bomb was 2 April 2005. H had moved to another country to work for the last 6 1/2 months... We still see each other at least once a fortnight, still have s@x each time we meet, still no papers in sight, he is still seeing ow. That is the summary. Loads of confusion in H's part. And my ups and downs on the roller coaster ride...
